very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the day after is always just damage control
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Success! We fucked roommates!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
