do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize