Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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