i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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