I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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