i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have tasted many bathrooms
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
