To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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