Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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