everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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