you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
