but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
