I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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