i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
