best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
NoShamevember. You game?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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