Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
