I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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