you guys were way drunker than both of me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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