Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I heard we made out

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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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(641): View more from Iowa

I met the friendliest cop last night

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(903): View more from Texas

I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

(1-903): View more from Texas

What does that even mean?

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(801): View more from Utah

He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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(954): View more from Florida

I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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(518): View more from New York

I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size

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(253): View more from Washington

Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?

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