oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
