It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
