I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
