I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
