Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
