so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
