And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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