Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
