he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
