I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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