youre lurking in front of me
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
