haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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