What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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