my being single is dangerous.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
