Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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