I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
