White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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