ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
