His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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