He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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