I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
