Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
