The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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