Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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