This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
