I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
