I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
