wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
