He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
