I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
