Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
