never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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