He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize