i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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