God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
