Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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