whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
