shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
