The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
