Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
