Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize