Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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