If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
