Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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